Boundaries aren’t barriers to keep people out… they’re guideposts to let people in

Boundaries aren’t barriers to keep people out… they are guideposts to let people in.

Boundaries are the way we tell people how to best love us. They’re clear directives of what actions make us feel loved & which ones make us feel hurt, unseen, used, or uncomfortable. They illuminate the path to love & connection.

But, boundaries are not boundaries without consequences. Telling someone what you will & won’t tolerate is just the beginning… if the appropriate action doesn’t follow, it’s not actually a boundary… it’s merely manipulation to try to change them & a way to play the “victim”.

It’s not the other person’s job to enforce my boundaries- it’s mine. It’s me that must be consistent in the consequences of others’ actions I say I will not tolerate. It’s me that must clearly outline how to best love me… and if they choose not to, it’s not my job to change them… it’s simply my job to let them go & love them from afar.

Learning to establish boundaries in my life has changed every relationship I’ve had for the better… especially my relationship with myself. Only from a place of self-love can I help others love me best... because self-love comes from self-respect. From this space, mutual respect develops, and we can create a safe space for vulnerability & connection… and truly amazing relationships can develop.

And it all started with boundaries. Imagine that. 😉

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