About 7+ years ago, I began waking up with the exact same thought every single morning…

“Ugh, I have to do this again?”

On the surface, my life was good. It was stable. I had built a successful personal training/wellness coaching business. I had a great relationship with my daughter that just kept getting better as she grew older. I had friends I could talk to about anything. I had my health, a home, a family, and a dog I loved. And yet, I could not shake this feeling of “Ugh,” as I walked to the kitchen to make my coffee each morning.

I wasn’t depressed or sad, but I wasn’t happy either. Every day felt like Groundhog Day…

I’ve officially been abroad for a week now, and here are 5 things I’ve realized so far…

1.  I love British culture… even more than I thought I would. Everything about it…

This move abroad is already showing me the parts of myself I haven’t seen in a while…

Yesterday, I made a TikTok about how I felt like an idiot American abroad and gave some examples of why. I had several encouraging comments on the video, which was nice, but one in particular made me think...

Two days ago, I sent my only daughter off on a one-way flight to Spain. She’s doing a language-immersion program for the next month, then backpacking across Europe for a month, before she begins university in the United Kingdom in the fall. The joy and sadness I feel about this is intense. I’m so happy she gets to have these experiences, and I’m so excited for her future. At the same time, my heart is breaking into a million pieces knowing she’s growing up, moving out, and that things will inevitably change between us.

I expected all of these emotions about her leaving the nest, but what I didn’t expect was feeling grief about my own experience of moving out of my parents’ house….

Very often, we say we want something… we say we’re ready for something good… something big… we’re hopeful, we’re prayerful, and we’re thinking positively…

But, nothing is happening.

We may get frustrated because what we say we want isn’t transpiring...

Are we cursed? Are we being punished? Is our character being tested?

Nope.

We can tell ourselves…

My mind is wild. It can create stories you wouldn’t believe… which keeps life interesting, but can also creates unnecessary stress.
Learning the difference between…

Unexpressed expectations are premeditated resentments…

We must tell the people around us how we want to be treated. This goes for every type of relationship- romantic, friend, family, work, etc.

Our distress in relationships comes when we assume others will treat us the way we treat them. We believe we’re sending invisible signals as to what we will & will not tolerate, but that’s not necessarily true…

It is human nature to push the boundaries of others- we all do it. We all assume…

I don’t know if there’s ever been a song that’s more relatable than Taylor Swift’s song ‘Anti-Hero’. I find myself singing those lyrics in my head pretty often, usually after I realize some way I’m preventing myself from showing up as the person I want to be in this world…

I recently had an encounter where I had this realization…

Kids do as they see…

Not as we say.

👀 If you want your kids to eat healthy, then YOU have to eat healthy.

👀 If you don’t want your kids to grow up stressed out, burnt out & unhappy with their lives, then YOU need to show them how to have healthy boundaries & prioritize YOUR well-being.

👀 If you want your kids to…

I used to have many false beliefs about success. These beliefs not only prevented me from being as successful as I wanted to be, but they also led to burnout - physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually. A few beliefs I used to have about success are…

For something to be worthy of praise, or a feeling of accomplishment, it must be grandiose or difficult to achieve.

I am solely responsible for my own success.

Asking for help is a sign of weakness.

Paying others to do something I don’t want to do, but that I could do, is frivolous & irresponsible.

Paying others to do something I’m not good at, but could learn to do better, is cheating.

Struggle is proof that something is “worth it”.

Through my burnout recovery, the biggest changes that happened within me were my mindset… which changed my life for the better in every way…

I’m not proud of who I’ve become….

Because I haven’t become anyone…

I’ve simply peeled back the layers of who I thought I was supposed to be, and in that process…

I found Me…

Change doesn’t happen on a cognitive level. Change happens on an embodied level.

We can’t think our way into change… we have to act.

We can’t plan our way into change… we have to do.

We can’t pray our way into change… we have to move.

Analysis paralysis happens around change when we’re trying to be perfect…

Motivation is an excuse for not reaching one’s full potential.

“I just gotta get motivated”

I hear this phrase almost everyday when working with clients. Most people believe motivation is what’s needed to reach a goal…

Motivation will NOT get you to your goal…

Every experience we have in life molds us into the next version of ourselves.

We begin this human experience soft, as pure love. Our only innate desire is to love & be loved…

But, just like clay exposed to the elements, life can harden us. We can become rigid. With that rigidity, we can break.

But, underneath that hard outer shell, at the core, we’re still the soft, lovable being we began this life as…

We are love in human form. We never lose that… we just forget it from time to time.

But, experiencing the love of another, has the ability to wreck us in the most beautiful, magnificent way…

t’s not the “thing” that you want…

It’s the feeling that you think the “thing” will give you…

That’s what you ACTUALLY want.

This goes for money, relationships, achievements, aesthetics, and everything else.

▪️We think we want money, but we really want…

You can’t make this shit up.

If I were to write a movie of actual events that have occurred in my life, people would say it’s too far-fetched… there’s no way that’s real.

My EMS partner & I used to say this about working in EMS… if we were to write a movie script of actual calls we ran, with dialogue that was verbatim & events exactly as they transpired… people would probably walk out of the theater because they would think there’s no possible way anything like that could ever happen…

But, it did. I was there.

Life is messy & magical all at once. It’s mundane & remarkable.

When I look back at my life…

Over the years, as a single person, I have received a lot of feedback from people (who are not single) as to how I should approach love, relationships & dating. I hear the same thing over and over…

Don’t keep making a mistake because you’ve spent a long time making it.

First, let me preface what I’m about to say with… I actually don’t think there is such thing as a mistake. There are decisions that are aligned with our highest Self, and there are decisions that aren’t in alignment with our highest Self (what we feel are mistakes).

But, I digress…

Our current situation is because of our previous decisions.

So, what happens when we don’t like our current situation? When we’re unhealthy, irritable & discontent?

We choose something different, right?

Well, not always…

Your job is not your life…

Your job is here to support your life.

Your purpose in life isn’t your job…

You can create a job that contributes to your purpose, but your job isn’t your purpose….

7 Years Sober

That’s 2,556 days I decided not to pick up a drink.

It’s 61,344 hours of handling the bad & the good with a clear mind.

And 3,680,600+ minutes of a life fully lived.

Sobriety is beautiful & messy.
It’s simple, but not easy.
It’s dark & it’s light.

Alcohol was never my problem…