You are allowed to feel what you feel, need what you need, and desire what you desire.

I’ve spoken before about how I have the tendency to analyze my feelings, as to opposed to actually feeling my feelings… and also, how I tend to judge my feelings & try to change them into what I think I “should” feel…

I’ve realized I do this with my needs & desires, as well.

I have a really hard time knowing how I feel at any given moment, what I need at any given moment, or what I truly desire for myself & my life…

I’ve become very intentional about learning how to identify these things.

To identify how I feel at any given moment, I often use a tool called “The Wheel of Emotions”. This is a tool designed to help you narrow down what it is you’re actually feeling. I start at the inside section of the wheel & identify the general sensation in my body, then I move out to the next level to narrow it down even more, and finally, to the outermost level to pinpoint the exact feeling I’m experiencing in that moment. This may sound ridiculous to some people, but anyone who has experienced society (I.e. all of us), and is honest with themselves, will probably realize that they suppress their emotions… because society tells us it’s inconvenient to feel our feelings. But, when we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings, they come out at times where we don’t necessarily want them to… and they tend to come out “sideways” towards other people who may not have anything to do with why we are feeling triggered. I suppressed my emotions this for the majority of my life, so I completely lost touch with the ability to identify what I’m actually feeling. So, to train that part of me to be functional again, I use this tool on a regular basis to strengthen that ability within me.

Wheel of Emotion Tool

To learn how to identify what I need & desire, I use journaling prompts daily that was given to me by one of the coaches I’ve worked with…

First, I ask myself “What is the deepest desire of my heart today?”

When I first asked myself that question, it was really difficult for me to answer… I had no idea what I truly desired. But, with practice, each day that I answer that question, I am able to go deeper within my Self. I am able to feel my desire… it varies from day to day what desire presents itself to me, but I’m learning that all of my desires have a theme of connection… connection to myself, connection to God, connection to others, connection to the earth, connection to the universe… to feel connected to everything because I am connected to everything… I just lose the feeling of that connection when I’m in my head all the time. When I lose that feeling of connection, I feel stressed & overwhelmed. I feel alone like nobody could possibly understand what I’m struggling with. I feel hopeless that things will never get better…

After I identify my desire for that day, I then ask myself the question “What do I deeply need today?”

This answer is always a variation of - I need the permission & freedom to feel my desire, fully, without judgment or shame.

Once I have identified my need, I am able to then give myself that permission & freedom to feel my desire fully… even if it’s for a brief moment. That freedom creates expansion within me. I feel lighter. I feel in touch with myself, which makes me feel safe because I am learning to trust myself. I feel connected to Source, which makes me feel empowered by my needs & desires, instead of burdened by them… I feel how inconsequential my perceived “problems” are on the macro-level of all existence, but how important my needs & desires are on the micro-level of my existence.

Being intentional about feeling my feelings, identifying my needs, and letting myself desire what I truly desire - without judgment - has helped me let go of fear & shame. It has allowed me to pursue my purpose in this lifetime without judgment from myself & others. It has allowed me to just “be”…

As another coach of mine always says, “We are human BEings, not human DOings.”

Learning to be me, fully, is my purpose in this lifetime.

It’s yours too. Give yourself permission to experience it.

XO,

Stacie