45 Lessons From 45 Trips Around The Sun

This is 45.

Today is my birthday! 🥳 I know it’s taboo for people, especially women, to say how old they are publicly, but I don’t give a f*ck… I wear these 45 years in this body as a badge of honor. This body isn’t the same one I had at 25, or even 35… It’s an ever-evolving vessel in which my soul chose to live this lifetime.

In honor of my 45 years on this plane of existence, I thought it would be fun to summarize 45 lessons I’ve learned. Milestones, like birthdays, always make me reflect on the life I’ve lived so far, as well as contemplate the life I have yet to live. None of this is meant to be advice, but I know I always appreciate when others share the lessons they’ve learned with me, as it saves me stress, energy & time from potentially learning those lessons the hard way myself. So, I hope these thoughts help someone who needs them, or at the very least, they entertain you today... ☺️

45 Lessons From 45 Trips Around The Sun

1. Everything is made up. Everything we stress about - money, time, status, beauty standards, etc - are all made-up social constructs. They only have meaning & influence if we decide to give that power to them… Don’t let made-up concepts steal real-life joy.

2. Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts just happen. They’re not based on truth or fact. Choose which thoughts you give power to, because…

3. Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t… you’re right.

4. Love is a verb. Love is an action. Love is a choice. Like is a feeling. Like is dependent on how a person or situation makes us feel… it’s okay not to like. Love anyways.❤️

5. Sleep, sunlight, water & connection are the components that make up the “duct tape” of life. These 4 elements will fix pretty much any ailment you have. If you get all 4 of these on a regular basis, you will live a long, happy & healthy life.

6. Authenticity > Fitting in. Authenticity is your Superpower. 🦸‍♀️

7. There is nothing & no one outside of you that can add or subtract from your value. Your value is innate.

8. You are worthy of love. Period. Not only are you worthy of love - You ARE love. Love is your core, your soul, your essence… it’s the world’s stupid made-up rules (see #1) that made you forget it. Remember it. Own it. Radiate it.💖

9. Also, you’re a pain in the ass - we all are - still lovable, but there’s always room for improvement in our behavior & treatment of others. Feedback isn’t an attack, it’s an opportunity for growth & deeper connection.

10. Your identity isn’t your job, relationship status, accomplishments, degrees, titles, your kids or their accomplishments, or anything else that you DO. Your identity is who you are when you strip all of these things away… it’s who you are when you just BE. We are human BEings, not human DOings.

11. Happiness is a choice, not a destination.

12. Confidence isn’t a personality trait - it’s a learned skill. Anyone can learn this skill. No one will be confident in everything they do, and that’s okay… do it anyway.

13. Confidence comes from taking action, not before… You cannot analyze or think your way into confidence. You build trust within yourself as you take action. With that self-trust, you build confidence, because you know you’ve got your own back.

14. You’ll never make progress if you spend your time & energy beating yourself up for where you are. Accept what is, and take action to move forward.

15. Your body holds soooooo much wisdom. Taking the time to get out of your head & into your body each day (i.e. yoga, meditation, somatic practices) will save you so much time & energy. You’ll make decisions that are aligned with what’s right for you, rather than aimlessly moving through life based on what society says you “should” do”. (#1 again)

16. Direction > Speed… going nowhere fast is still going nowhere. Getting clear on direction (by doing #15) will take you on amazing journeys & lead you to magnificent destinations.

17. Finding joy in the process is the key to consistency. Learning to love the process is what brings fulfillment in anything that you do.

18. Anxiety & excitement feel the same in the body energetically. Reframe the story you’re telling yourself about this feeling… let excitement propel you forward, instead of letting anxiety hold you back.

19. Looks fade, but someone’s beauty can grow indefinitely.

20. Life isn’t the highlight reel… it’s not the weddings, or babies born, or promotions, or accomplishments that make a great life. Life is happening at every given moment. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. The “good old days” are happening right now... Be present & appreciate them.

21. Everyone has a different lens of reality. Their lens is based on their life experiences… yours is based on yours. It’s not your job to convince anyone else to change their “prescription” & see the world the way you see it. It’s your job to stop gaslighting yourself & own your Truth… then be the living, breathing example of what you want to see in this world.

22. When you embody your Truth, you become un-fuck-with-able. 😉

23. There are no “bad parts” of you. You are innately good. Every part of you is there for a reason - your heart, your mind, your desires, your needs, your sexuality, your personality, etc. The parts you’ve rejected are not bad, you’ve just been told they’re bad by society. (again, see #1🙄) Don’t believe these lies. Yes, there are parts of you that have been hurt by life’s experiences, and may cause you to self-sabotage… but, everything you do is for a reason. Those self-sabotaging parts are misguided self-love, trying to protect you from pain. Accepting all of your parts will transform your Self & your life… Your whole Self is greater than the sum of your parts.

24. Curiosity > Judgement. There is no one right way to do anything. Learning to get curious about others’ behaviors & perspectives, as well as your own, instead of judging those behaviors & perspectives, creates a deeper connection to others, as well as yourself, and it creates opportunities for growth… which expands your world. Judgment is living life in black & white, while curiosity is living in vibrant, panoramic colors.

25. Radical honesty is the foundation for internal peace. Getting radically honest with yourself & others frees you from the constant pull of maintaining the different personas we all create in an attempt to fit in & be safe… again, embodying your Truth makes you un-fuck-with-able. When you own your Truth, you own your power… and no one & nothing outside of you can remove that power unless YOU give it to them. (i.e. you forget your power & believe the lies)

26. The opposite of love isn’t hate - it’s fear. Fear is what drives hate. Fear is what drives control & manipulation. Where there is fear, love cannot exist. Love takes surrender… it takes trust, it takes openness, it takes humbleness, it takes vulnerability, it takes bravery. Love isn’t for the faint of heart… it’s for those with the courage to live life fully. To allow yourself to experience love is the greatest gift because it’s what your soul came here to do.🫶🏻

27. Laughing with someone you love is the best medicine in the world… so is orgasming.😏 You can literally change your physiology with your connections to others, to God/Source, and yourself… If you want to be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually, then creating healthy connections is essential… laughing & orgasms are just 2 fun ways to achieve that connection.😉

28. Your diet is more than what you eat… it’s everything you choose to consume. If you’re filling your mind with hateful rhetoric - towards yourself & others - you’ll be filled with hateful rhetoric. Hate disconnects you from yourSelf & others. You can eat all of the vegetables, drink all of the water, and do all of the exercise… but, if you’re filled with hate, you’ll be unhappy. If your mental health is unhealthy, your body will be unhealthy… and vice versa. No one will show up to your funeral because you had 6-pack abs… they’ll show up because of how you treated them & how you chose to live your life… make sure you live a life where people want to attend your funeral.

29. Self-acceptance & body image have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with how you look on the outside. It is 100% an inside job. You can’t hate yourself skinny… I mean, you can, but what’s the point? What good is having 6-pack abs if you hate yourself? Treating yourself with love, even when you don’t like yourself (see #4) is what will lead to self-acceptance & positive body image… learning to love the process (#18) is what will allow you to be consistent in your healthy behaviors & will lead to a healthy body & mind.

30. There is no such thing as failure… only lessons learned.

31. A lesson will keep repeating itself until it is learned… if you’re tired of the same lessons, learn something new & take different actions. 😉

32. Leveling up is harder than starting out… to level up you must be willing to let go of what you’ve already built. It’s scary. It’s painful. It’s hard… but, so is staying somewhere you’ve outgrown. Letting go of Ego & trusting yourself to fail forward will allow you to move to the next level in your life… take the time to enjoy the view while you’re there, but keep moving forward to the next summit. 🏔️

33. Admitting “I don’t know” is a sign of intelligence… “Knowing” everything is a sign of arrogance. Wisdom is realizing how little you actually know, empowerment comes from your willingness to learn more… if you think you know everything, you can’t learn anything new.

34. Nature heals. We are meant to be connected to the earth, as much as we’re meant to be connected to each other. Getting into nature will nurture your body in a way no pill ever can.

35. You’re not behind. (#1 again) You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. You’ll be given the tools you need to move forward as you need them… trust the process.

36. Sharing memes is a love language... so is sending cute animal videos. Big gestures are nice, but finding small ways to connect with others is what keeps relationships healthy & what makes the chaotic day-to-day thing we call life, fun. Allow yourself to fully feel the pleasure & joy from these small shared experiences, and you’ll live a life full of joy & love.

37. Nothing lasts forever. Good times don’t last, and neither do the hard times. Everything is a season. If you don’t like the season you’re in, do what you can to make it good, and know that a new season is coming.

38. There is no such thing as laziness… it’s a made-up concept. (See #1) There are no real rules about what we’re supposed to be doing at any given moment… “Laziness” is a sign your nervous system needs rest. Honor it, without judgment, and you’ll be active again much faster. (See #14) Rest is essential if you want to do great things.

39. You are allowed to feel how you feel. You are allowed to need what you need. You are allowed to desire what you desire. The sooner you accept these Truths. the sooner you’ll feel contentment & peace in your life, as you pursue your purpose.

40. You only know the darkness because you’ve experienced the light. Darkness can be scary, but the polarity makes the light beautiful. Learn to sit in the darkness, then become the light.✨

41. Everyone’s a narcissist… not really lol, but the point is, no one’s really that interested in what you’re doing… they’re thinking about themselves & what they’re doing. So, don’t let fear of what others will think to stop you from living the way you want to live. If you choose to live outside the box, yes, there will probably be opinions from others… but, opinions are like assholes…. everybody has one. 😉 Just like you (hopefully) don’t want to see everybody’s asshole, don’t let everybody’s opinion of what you’re doing affect you… live your life & let them live theirs.

42. Not everyone gets to board the plane on your journey. Some people earn their seat beside you in First Class, some people are in Coach, and some people get left on standby. That’s okay. They have their own adventures to pursue. This lifetime is your adventure… make it an enjoyable one filled with the people who support you, and let those afraid to fly remain on the ground.

43. No one has their shit together. Literally… No. One.

44. How other people perceive you/treat you has a lot more to do with them than it does you. (See #21) It’s not our job to convince anyone else to love us, to choose us, or to treat us well… it’s our job to decide who gets access to us, and what behaviors we will tolerate within our lives. Set boundaries like a motherf*cker, and love people anyway… even if it’s from afar.

45. And, finally… Yes, pineapple does belong on pizza. If you have rules about what toppings belong on pizza, please refer to Lesson #1 on this list. 🍕😉🫶🏻

In my 45 years on this planet, I feel like I’ve lived 5 separate lifetimes - my life with my family of origin, my life as an EMT, my life as a married woman, my life as a single mom, and my life as an ever-evolving, transformational woman who is discovering who she really is by peeling back the layers from those previous lives she lived…. It’s through all of these lifetimes that I’ve learned these lessons through books, conversations & experiences I’ve had. I feel very blessed to be able to reflect back on all I’ve learned & to know there’s still so much more I have to learn… I wonder what my list will look like at 90??? (My daughter wants me to celebrate her 100th birthday with her, so I intend to live to at least 130… So, I’m really only like 1/3 of the way through this existence 😉 lol)

Through all these lessons I’ve realized that nobody lays in their deathbeds wishing they had worked more… they wish they would’ve stressed less & appreciated what they had more. They wish they would’ve done the scary thing. Their regrets are their soul’s unfulfilled desires because they let fear win. They wish they would’ve let themselves feel joy, instead of always waiting for the other shoe to drop. They wish they would’ve shown love more to the people who were important to them, instead of holding back for fear of looking foolish. Your legacy won’t be the dollars you made. Your legacy will be the love you’ve left behind & the impact that love had on others. Tell people you love them. Make it weird.😉 To anyone who’s reading this… I love you… even if I don’t know you personally… I’m so happy we can connect through my written words - they are one of the love languages I give to the world.

Here’s to the next 45 trips around the sun… let the adventure continue! 🥳