Forgiveness

“Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” -Paul Boese

Forgiveness isn’t condoning what happened.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean they get access to you.

Forgiveness isn’t conditional.

Forgiveness isn’t transactional.

Forgiveness isn’t for them.

Forgiveness is freedom.

YOUR freedom.

Freedom from the chains that keep you bound to the pain.

Sometimes forgiveness is easy for me…

Sometimes it’s really, REALLY hard… and I have to keep forgiving the same hurt over & over & over. When this is the case, it’s usually because I care very deeply for that person who hurt me, and part of me wants to hold onto that pain as a way to “protect” myself from being hurt by them again… or at least that’s how my mind justifies it.

But, holding onto the pain & building walls isn't forgiveness…

It’s solitary confinement for our soul. It denies us the freedom to love & connect with others. When we shut off parts of ourselves, we disconnect from all parts of ourselves & others. It keeps our world very small…

What a shame it would be to live this one precious life, caged.

Forgiveness isn’t forgetting either. (that’s denial) Remember the lesson, but remove the shackles.

Forgiveness doesn’t happen by telling the other party we forgive them… it happens within.

If you’re the one seeking forgiveness, make amends & ask for forgiveness when necessary… then forgive yourself, even if the other party doesn’t. Don’t be shackled by your own un-forgiveness.

The same is true for someone else. If you tell someone you forgive them, but they have no desire to seek your forgiveness… telling them is not the act of forgiveness… it’s really manipulation on your part to make them see they were “wrong”. However, if someone seeks forgiveness from you, by all means, tell them… it’s a loving way to assist them in releasing the shackles of their own un-forgiveness.

Sometimes forgiveness happens, but it doesn’t mean the relationship is repaired… sometimes separation is the only healthy way to love someone. Forgive anyways… it opens your heart to connect to others.

If the pain was deep, you’ll have to release it many times… but, the reward will be worth it. 💖

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