Mantra: I am allowed to feel how I feel
Say it with me: I am allowed to feel what I feel.
I have a bad habit of judging my feelings, analyzing them & trying to change them.
When I’m happy, hopeful or excited about something, a voice within me says that I shouldn’t be too delighted or enthusiastic because something bad could take it away, and then I would feel immense disappointment… and I’d feel stupid for letting myself get excited about it in the first place.
When I’m upset about something, sad, mad or frustrated that voice tells me I should be grateful for the good things in my life, or I should look for the positive in the situation, or that my situation isn’t as bad as other peoples’, etc… then I feel weak for not being tough all the time & shameful for not exclusively focusing on good things (that may or may not have to do with the situation at hand).
Neither of these behaviors are helpful. They prevent me fully experiencing life, and when I avoid my emotions, I begin to experience physical symptoms - pain, stiffness, etc.
Foreboding joy keeps us from fully experiencing the good, which eventually leads to regret because we weren’t fully present in the good moments.
Not allowing ourselves to fully feel disappointment or rage keeps us in stuck in unforgiveness. It also keeps us chasing highs to avoid the lows, which again, keeps us doing, striving & hustling… which is exhausting.
Being able to sit with emotions - high or low - is a skill. It takes safety within ourselves. A trust that we are capable of alchemizing & transmuting those emotions, so they don’t become “stuck” within us. To be able to do this there is a deep knowing that emotions are temporary - they are energy in motion (e-motion) within our bodies.
I have been intentionally feeling my emotions lately. It’s intense & it triggers those old thought patterns of avoiding, judging or attempting to change my emotions. Whenever those voices creep in, I kindly tell them “I’ve got this”. I get back into my body. I sit quietly. I notice the physical sensation of emotion - the ache in my chest, the lump in my throat, the tightness in my hip, or whatever it may be. Then when I’ve sat with it for as long as I can tolerate, I let my body move in a way that feels best to allow the emotion to move through me. I stay grounded to the floor… I feel supported. I let whatever needs to happen, happen - I cry, shake, move in a fluid way… the tension is released. The boulder in my chest feels smaller. I can breathe. I ask myself “What do I need in this moment?” and I give myself whatever it is - no judgement. This is Somatic work. This is healing.
Feeling your feelings is uncomfortable at times, but avoiding your feelings makes you sick, anxious & depressed… and it keeps you from fully participating in this messy, magnificent human experience we call life.
My soul chose this human experience for this moment in time, so I’m finally embracing what it is to be a fully-feeling human. I hope you do too.
XO,
Stacie