Motivation will NOT get you to your goal.
Motivation is an excuse for not reaching one’s full potential.
“I just gotta get motivated”
I hear this phrase almost everyday when working with clients. Most people believe motivation is what’s needed to reach a goal…
Motivation will NOT get you to your goal.
Action will.
Motivation is fleeting. It’s what happens when you’re first inspired for change, but as soon as the work of change begins, motivation starts to dwindle.
The reason for this is because motivation is a feeling. Feelings are not facts - good or bad. Feelings are not permanent. Feelings happen because of the story we tell ourselves about our circumstances.
This is where motivation starts to fail us because of the cognitive dissonance between who we believe we are at the moment & who it is we’re trying to become…
For example, if we identify as someone who “needs to get into shape” or someone who “needs to start eating healthier”, we are identifying as someone who does not currently do those things. We believe that version of us doesn’t currently exist, and it will be a struggle & a sacrifice to become that person… we believe we’ll have to give up who we are now. (which is true) But, the reality is that version of us already exists within us… it’s just buried under layers of social conditioning.
A much better approach is to simply begin identifying as the person you want to be…
Say “I am a person who works out” or “I am a person who eats healthy”. Who we identity as is what directs our actions. Our subconscious will always drive us to act in a way that aligns with the identity we cling to. So, changing the narrative of who we believe we are reinforces changed actions that align with the version of ourselves that does those things. With those changed actions we begin to embody that version of ourselves.
I did this when I quit drinking… I had a lot of fun when I was a drinking person lol, but I knew I wasn’t living up to my full potential. So, I quit. When I did, instead of saying “I stopped drinking” - which implies I am a person avoiding an action I used to engage in - I started saying “I’m sober” or “I don’t drink”. I simply started identifying as a person who doesn’t drink. It doesn’t matter what actions I took in the past, I don’t take those actions today… Being sober has become part of my identity. Because of that, drinking doesn’t even seem like an option to me, even though at one time it was very entwined in my life. I sometimes wonder what drinking would feel like to me today… I wonder if I would enjoy it, or if I would feel like a failure…. I think it would be the latter because of this strong identity I’ve created as a sober person. I know I would no longer be able to identify as a sober person if I chose to take a drink. I’m proud of this sober version of me, and I don’t want to lose that part of me… So, I keep taking sober actions everyday that align with who I believe I am & who I want to be - sober me.
This can be applied to anything.
Don’t rely on motivation to start acting like the person you want to be. Simply make a decision to be that person. Claim it as your identity & take the actions that align with it.
You can change your life with one decision… but, that decision has to be made over & over & over, everyday.
Action > Motivation
XO,
Stacie