Observation vs Interpretation
Observation vs Interpretation
My mind is wild. It can create stories you wouldn’t believe… which keeps life interesting, but can also creates unnecessary stress.
Learning the difference between observation (the facts about what is happening) vs interpretation (the story my mind makes up about what’s happening) has been very helpful in me combating my anxiety & even depression.
So, what is the difference between observation & interpretation?
Let’s say you have a coworker, Bob. You’re in charge of a project & Bob is supposed to assist you on it…
Bob is not doing the work the way you see fit.
Observation is identifying the ways Bob is not meeting your standards… he missed XYZ… he finished the project late, etc. Those are observations - specific & measurable.
Interpretation is how our minds determine the “why” behind Bob’s actions… this sounds more like…
Bob is incompetent because he didn’t do XYZ… He doesn’t respect me because he doesn’t turn in his work on time… He’s trying to get me in trouble with my boss… Ugh! Bob is going to get me fired! These are interpretations - the reasons why Bob does what he does & the stories we predict as to what will result from Bob’s actions.
The reality is, we don’t know why Bob does the things he does… Bob may not even know… but, the stories we make up about the situation can send us into a tailspin.
However, if we stay in observation, we can logically & rationally resolve the issue… instead of emotionally approaching the issue.
Staying logical & rational allows us to stay calm, and we can better communicate what it is we actually need. We can paint a clear picture for Bob as to what our expectations on the matter are, what the consequences will be if the expectations aren’t met, and we can do it in a way that doesn’t feel accusatory… then if the issue still isn’t resolved we can enforce the clear consequences we outlined, if necessary.
Where as with interpretation, we’re much more likely to be accusatory… we’re more emotional & reactive… we’re much less likely to be able to communicate effectively, because our nervous system is on high alert from the “attack” we feel from the story we created.
As humans, we’re hurt & offended when others make assumptions about us…
When we live in a constant state of assumption about others, it keeps us in a state of fear of “what if”, and it keeps us disconnected from reality. When relating to others we need to let them tell the story of their actions… and that will create a safe space for us to tell them the reasons behind our actions too. They’ll no longer need to make assumptions about us, and a mutual respect can form.
Even if you don’t care about connecting with others… the benefit we get from staying rooted in reality is reason enough to use observation as a tool - it decreases our stress… it allows us to be peaceful & content, regardless of the circumstances around us… and that’s ultimately what makes life more enjoyable. So, if you don’t want to give someone else the benefit of the doubt… give yourself the gift of peace. 😉