What’s Eating You Will Cause You To Eat…

What’s eating you will cause you to eat…

Or restrict your food, or drink, or work too much, or overextend yourself, or obsess about your body, or chase the wrong people, or over-exercise, or self-sabotage, etc…

Everything we do is for a reason.

EVERYTHING.

Every action we take serves a purpose, even if we don’t realize it.

The reality is, we’re all just a bunch of kids playing dress up in adult bodies. We all, unconsciously, are trying to fulfill our needs that weren’t met as a child.

If we grew up in poverty or scarcity, we either repeat those patterns, or we overcompensate by accumulating more money, more things, or overeat when food is available, etc. in an attempt to feel secure.

If we grew up in instability or volatility, we either repeat those behaviors, or we try to manage & control every situation- from other people’s actions, to our own bodies, or anything else to attempt to feel a sense of calm & control.

If we grew up where love was earned, instead of given freely, we either believe we’re unworthy love & self-sabotage, or we do everything we can to prove that we’re worthy of love… from earning degrees, to titles, to status, to money, to possessions, to the perfect body, and more…

The reality is, the drug addict/alcoholic on the corner & the high-powered-workaholic-CEO trying to achieve the perfect body, accumulate wealth, belongings & status, with the trophy wife/girlfriend, etc. likely have a similar narratives in their heads…

A belief that they are unworthy & unlovable as they are. (Ouch.😣😢)

One of them simply believed this story, and found drugs/alcohol to relieve the pain that comes from feeling unlovable.

The other has spent his entire life trying to prove to himself & others that the story isn’t true, and found that distracting himself with work, money, possessions, exercise, the trophy wife/girlfriend, etc. was a way of avoiding the “truth” that he is unlovable as he is.

You may think… We’ll, guy number 2 has it all, so he’s better off… (and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wealth, success, etc.)

But, the problem is… it’s NEVER enough. No matter what IT is… if it’s something outside of yourself you’re using to fill that void - it’s NEVER enough.

Guy number 2 is in just as much pain as guy number 1… and they’re both missing out on life. They’re both numbing out, just in different ways.

We all struggle with the same stuff… it just manifests differently in our lives. Some of us turn to food. Some to alcohol. Some to drugs. Some to eating disorders & body dysmorphia. Some to work. Some to stress addiction. Some to codependency…

The list can go on & on… most of us are a mixture of multiple things, if we’re being completely honest.

The reality is… it’s never about the food. It’s never about “laziness” or lack of discipline. It’s never about how their body looks on the outside (big or small)… those are just symptoms.

Focusing on the symptoms is just a bandaid… it doesn’t heal the wound. It doesn’t change what’s driving the behaviors.

Getting to the “why” is where we break these patterns, where we find healing, happiness & peace.

When I’m working with clients, I meet them where they’re at, when it comes to behavior change…

The ones who only focus on the actual behavior, and not the “why”, will usually make changes for a while, but eventually go back to old habits… it’s because they don’t understand what’s actually driving those habits. I’m there to support & guide them as much as I can, and I do my best to help them where they are.

The clients who are willing to go deeper into the “why” of why they do the things they do, are the ones who create lasting behavior change. They’re the ones who don’t just change their waistlines… they change their lives.

When a client is brave enough to go deep in the work we’re able to determine where these coping actions came from, how they may have served a purpose at one time, and how we can replace them with healthier behaviors moving forward. We also cultivate compassion for their old selves, because that version of them was doing the best they could with what they had at the time… now they have new tools, so they can do better…

But, the one thing that’s for sure, no matter if the client is willing to dive deep or tread shallow water… if they spend their time & energy beating themselves up for where they are… they do not move forward. They just stay stuck.

I’m very blessed to be able to walk beside my clients as they navigate their journey… no matter what it looks like. My job is to create a safe space where they can be completely honest with themselves… which is essential to determining what they actually want. I can do this, because there’s nothing they have done, that I haven’t done myself… I’ve struggled with everything they’re struggling with. When I look back on my own life, I see where I used these coping behaviors for so long, and I see how much pain I was in… I’ve learned to forgive myself & to build a healthy, happy life. Being on the other side of that pain now, I have empathy, not sympathy, for my clients, no matter what they’re going through, because I understand it. I give purpose to my pain, and I can show them how to do that as well… it’s a way for me to pay it forward because I’ve had so many people help me along my healing journey…

Out of our greatest darkness, we can learn to shine the brightest… just as it takes the darkest sky to give us the brightest view of the stars.🌌

Whatever it is you’re struggling with… you’re not alone… and you don’t have to struggle forever. Whenever you’re ready, the path to your healing will be revealed… be brave enough to follow it. You are worthy of heath, happiness & healing. You are worthy of love… just as you are.💖

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