Why Am I Not Fulfilled?

“I have a charmed life, but why am I not fulfilled/happy?”

I hear different iterations of this from clients quite frequently… especially from women.

They recognize how blessed they truly are that their needs are met & they have loved ones in their life, but for “some reason” they’re not happy or fulfilled…

So, I ask them to tell me about their typical day. They give me a list 10 miles long of tasks they do for chores, errands and things they do purely for others…

Then, I ask them to tell me what brings them joy & lights their soul on fire, what rejuvenates them & fills up their cup…

It’s a completely different list.

Here’s the disconnect… they’re living a life, but it’s not their own.

If you’re experiencing this, try this practice. Write down your typical daily routine. Then write down what brings you joy & your soul’s desire, etc… if they don’t match, it’s time to alter list #1 to more closely align with list #2.

How do you do this?

Make 3 “To do” lists… 1) Things that I need to do 2) Things that I want to do, and 3) Things other people want me to do

Lists 1 & 2 are the priority… if you never get to List 3 that is okay- it’s not yours to hold, so Let. It. Go! *in Elsa voice* 😉

Also, refine List 1 (things I NEED to do) and make sure YOU actually need to do these things, or whether they can be delegated out…

For instance, housework can be divided more evenly through household members, or even delegated to a paid outsider (which is not frivolous btw… stop expecting yourself to do all the things - work, kids, chores - before you allow yourself to rest, relax & have fun. Plus, by hiring someone to help with housekeeping, or anything else, you’re providing income to another person… as a self-employed person myself, I can tell you we welcome people using our services with gratitude & without judgement… it allows us to provide for our families) This is just one example, but delegation can be used for anything you hate to do or that drains your energy. Not everything is our “gift”, but it very well may be someone else’s. Utilize your gifts wisely & give others the opportunity to use theirs.

You do not have to earn your rest & joy… it is your God given right, so live it.

It takes time & intention to re-wire your old way of thinking that you’ve gotta do it all, but the reward is soooooooo worth it. Because what you get is YOUR life back. What a gift. 💖