Hard Decisions
Oftentimes the healthy decision is the “hard” decision.
Humans are notorious for remaining in an unhealthy familiar, as opposed to choosing a healthier new. This can be with habits & behaviors, relationships, jobs, living environments, and more…
Why is this? Why would we choose to repeat patterns that hurt us? Why would we choose relationships, jobs & environments that are unhealthy?
It’s because the familiar *feels* safe regardless if it actually is or not... NOT because the new is *actually* harder.
The nervous system is constantly on alert, scanning our environments for danger. It’s how we’ve survived as humans throughout time. Prior to having the conveniences of today, such as shelter, heat, access to food & water, etc. we had to be wired to survive… otherwise the elements could’ve caused us to become extinct as a species.
The familiar feels safer because we know how to survive there. Our nervous system says “I did this yesterday & I survived here yesterday, so it must be best for me to stay here”… even if where we are or what we’re doing is a slow threat to our health & well-being, or not what we truly desire for ourselves & our lives… it doesn’t feel like an immediate life threatening situation.
The “new” feels more dangerous because we’ve never been there before, not because it’s actually more dangerous. Our nervous system goes on high alert, searching for potential threat. So, the “new” takes more intention & energy.
But, here’s the deal… the new will eventually become the familiar, if we stay there long enough.
True, embodied change comes with consistency OVER TIME…
I believe the reason it’s so hard for most people to make impactful change in their life is because their nervous system is dysregulated. They don’t have the capacity for the stressful feeling of the new, which prevents them from achieving the “over time” part that makes for lasting change. Their system feels overwhelmed trying to adapt to the new, so they go back to the old, before they start seeing/feeling the compounding effects of the new behavior or environment.
On my healing journey of learning to regulate my nervous system better, I have become a master of change. Yes, change still feels scary, but I’m no longer paralyzed by fear & unable to make a move. Now, I can take action in the face of fear. Now, I am able to make my body feel safe in new circumstances, which allows me to logically make better decisions, which allows me to create the life that I want. No, I’m not perfect at it, but I’m definitely better than I used to be when I was constantly in fear, spinning my wheels & not going anywhere in my life, prior to doing somatic work.
If you want to change your life in anyway, learn how to regulate your nervous system. You do this by becoming embodied. It starts by getting quiet, without distractions. Get out of your head by feeling what signals the body is trying to give you. With this biological feedback, you can take the steps necessary to make your body feel safe, regardless of what’s happening on the outside. Being able to sit with your thoughts, separate from your thoughts, without distractions is also how you feel whether something is right for you or not. It takes time & intention to do, but it’s sooo worth it… the reward is living a healthy life that feels good & fulfills your soul.