The Platinum Rule

The Platinum Rule

We’ve all heard of The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

There’s a reason this concept has been touted throughout generations - When we hurt others, we actually hurt ourselves.

When we treat others in a way that we wouldn’t want to be treated ourselves, we’re not only rejecting them… we’re rejecting a part of ourselves that desires to be treated kindly & with respect, and that part of us knows how badly those actions hurt.

When we treat others how we want to be treated, it is a way to treat the other party, and ourselves, with decency - which is the bare minimum for a relationship.

But, what if we could go beyond The Golden Rule and treat others how THEY want to be treated?

This is The Platinum Rule.

We all have the desire to be seen, heard & understood… not just treated with decency.

There is no mind-reading in The Platinum Rule - each party must be responsible for clearly communicating how they would like to be treated… making others guess our needs is unrealistic & unhealthy relating… but, when someone expresses their desire of how they would like to be treated, and that desire is ignored or dismissed, it creates a disconnect in the relationship. If we want to deepen our relationship with them (or even remain in a relationship with them), we must attempt to meet their relational needs…

It takes a higher awareness to relate to others from this perspective…

It takes a surrender of our agenda to make another person feel seen, loved, and heard… it requires us to love them in THEIR “love language” instead of expecting them to acclimate to ours… it requires us to stop and try to see the world through their lens before we make assumptions or take action…

That’s a lot of awareness, mindfulness & intentional action, but the result is a more profound connection…

Taking the time (to try our best) to truly understand someone is not only a gift to them, but also to ourselves…

Because just like when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves… when we take the time to understand others’ needs, desires & feelings, we fully connect with others… and in turn, we are able to fully connect to ourselves & our needs, our desires & our feelings… our humanity.

When we love others’ humanity, unconditionally, we feel that unconditional love as well… even if the other party can’t fully receive it, or even if it’s not reciprocated… we feel love because…

We become love.

When we become a source of love, it removes power dynamics in relationships, because instead of relating in a transactional way, we relate in a loving way. It takes the pressure off of relationships to be our source of happiness & love… and when a relationship ends, we don’t lose love (or ourselves) with it. It’s impossible to lose love… because we can’t lose something innate.

It frees us just to be loved & to love others from our own source of innate love.

If you want to feel love deeply within yourself, go beyond Golden Rule, and try The Platinum Rule… and see what you’ve been missing.💖

XO,

-Stacie