If someone has the courage to tell you when your actions hurt them, it means they care for you enough to actually want a relationship with you. Boundaries are only necessary for relationships. If there is no relationship, there is no need for boundaries.

Looking at it from this perspective..

A lot of what I do as a coach is I give my clients permission…

You can’t hate yourself skinny.

I mean, I guess you can, but what’s the point of that?

The point of wanting to change your appearance is to finally love & accept yourself, right?

Well, I’ll tell you a secret…

It’s not about looking outside of yourself… it’s about uncovering what’s already within you.
There’s no problem to be solved… there are only layers to be dissolved…

Learning to fight in a healthy way takes intention, but it’s worth it.

I used to shoot daggers… not literally, of course, but figuratively with my words. When I was in conflict with someone I’d attack their character. I’d keep a running tally of everything they’d ever done to hurt me & I’d pull out that list anytime I needed more ammo. I believed it was me vs them, and my survival instinct warned me “kill or be killed”… there was no way I was going to be the one to be killed… So, I wouldn’t stop until I was the victor. Once I felt I had conquered the territory I was after, I drew a new line in the sand, creating a divide in the relationship, as an attempt to protect myself from being hurt again.

Being right was more important than being happy.

Today, I have a different perspective…

I have been blessed with the gift of gratitude. I don’t think I’ve always been this way, but over the years I’ve learned to find the bright side of every situation. I truly am grateful for everything that’s happened in my life - good & bad - simply because it’s all of those experiences combined that shaped the woman I am today… and I like who I am today…

What’s eating you will cause you to eat…

Or restrict your food, or drink, or work too much, or overextend yourself, or obsess about your body, or chase the wrong people, or over-exercise, or self-sabotage, etc…

Since it’s Mental Health Awareness month, let’s talk about anxiety…
Anxiety, for me, is that incessant chatter in my head. It’s a continuous loop of the same thoughts over & over. It causes me to be distracted, unable to sleep or relax, or unable to sit in silence… it’s exhausting. Anxiety used to plague me, constantly. It made it really hard to be productive & to enjoy life in the moment…

“Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” -Paul Boese

Forgiveness isn’t condoning what happened.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean they get access to you.

Forgiveness isn’t conditional.

Forgiveness isn’t transactional.

Forgiveness isn’t for them.

Forgiveness is freedom.

YOUR freedom…

May is Mental Health Awareness month.

Mental health IS health... you can eat the vegetables, you can drink the water, you can do the exercise... but, if you don't deal with the negative sh*t in your head you aren't healthy. Mind & body are not separate.

As a person who struggled with depression for most of her life, I can tell you that it is 100% possible to overcome it. I am living proof…

Boundaries are the way we tell people how to best love us. They’re clear directives of what actions make us feel loved & which ones make us feel hurt, unseen, used, or uncomfortable. They illuminate the path to love & connection…

Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.

I used to live for “someday”.

“I’ll be happy when…” was a recurring thought…

I’ve spent a decade optimizing my health - physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health. After a time, I realized through my healing/self-evolution journey that my relational health needed work too… as relational health is a part of overall health. So, I dedicated a lot of time & energy to seeking experts in this field, and applying what I’ve learned to my relationships…

Life-changing.

Relationships, of every kind, are full of conflict… because we’re humans…

When to stay… and when to go.

I think this has to be one of the hardest decisions we ever have to face….

Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or an institution…

Knowing when to stick it out & when to move on to new paths is never an easy decision.